There is a backlog of blog posts that are in my head that I need to write. But, as you could tell, I have not written them. In the busyness of the past few weeks, I haven’t carved out the time.
But for now, all I’d ask for is prayer and encouragement…I truly need it. It seems that the overload of new things and responsibility–from moving, to living in an entirely new place without close friends, to being without a church family, to teaching high school, to taking 5 seminary classes, and operating in the real world of shopping and cooking and cleaning and budgeting and bill-paying and traffic–has left me feeling empty, discouraged, and over-whelmed. And while I’d like to say that I’m relying wholly on God and He’s getting me through just fine, more honestly I’d say that I’m struggling to make the effort to devote myself to the necessary prayer and meditation and thanksgiving and obedience to thrive in a new place. I’ve seen very keenly how much I relied on people and comfort zones and family and church to keep me stable in Dayton, and now that these things are gone, I see clearly that my relationship and commitment to God that should have been grounding these things is a lot more shallow than I thought. And this is a hard to thing to realize when the only way to realize it is to fall on your face again and again and come to see that you are hopeless and helpless without God and your own spiritual laziness might be your worst enemy. And as I get more discouraged about things and myself, I tend to become more lazy, procrastinate more, and use shallow things to take my mind off of my stress and my problems. Which only continues the cycle.
So, at the risk of publicly reveling in my own neediness, I’m asking that you’d pray for me:
–That I would put in the effort to pursue God more fully, repent more honestly, and renew my mind more intentionally.
–That I would run to God rather than shallow things to address my needs; and that I would not try to numb myself to my stress but acknowledge it and conquer it by the power of the Holy Spirit.
–That I would find nuggets of encouragement each day to keep me going and hearing God’s voice of “well done, good and faithful servant.”
–That I actually would be a good and faithful servant!
–That life in Charlotte would soon become a joy rather than a burden and that I would thrive rather than merely survive.
Thank you for your prayers. None of us can walk faithfully as a disciple of Christ without God’s help, strength, encouragement, and conviction. And none of us can do it alone. So thank for walking with me and being God’s means of encouragement and strength along the way.